Selfishness

Psychology

2022

We explain what selfishness is, what types exist and what selfish love is. In addition, we tell you what a selfish person is like.

Selfishness has been a morally condemnable trait in various religions and ethical codes.

What is selfishness?

Egoism, in general terms, is a conduct of excessive attachment to wellness own, which neglects or directly violates that of others. The people selfish, therefore, are those who only think of themselves and who hardly dedicate efforts or attention to the needs of others.

The word selfishness comes from the Latin voices ego (“I”) and –ism (suffix that expresses tendency or doctrine), and appears in the Spanish language in 1786, possibly borrowed from French, English or Italian. It arose along with the word egotist, which has the same meaning but today is reserved for literature and poetic speech.

Selfishness has been a morally reprehensible trait since ancient times; in fact, the vast majority of religions Y ethical codes they reject it and instead encourage fraternity and the love Between people. It is one of the features of personality that in children's stories are attributed to evil characters or destined to learn a lesson, as in "The Selfish Giant" by Oscar Wilde (1854-1900).

On the other hand, selfishness is the subject of analysis and reflection for the psychology, the sociology and the philosophy (both the ethics as the moral), and even for the biology: ethologists and scholars of the behaviour animal understand it as a behavior opposed to altruism, and which consists in defending the interests of the organism above the collective interests of, for example, the pack itself or some other group of competitors. In that sense, biological egoism is part of what Charles Darwin called "survival of the fittest".

Characteristics of a selfish person

Selfish people are characterized by the following:

  • They put their personal benefit before the collective at all times, even when a small self-sacrifice would bring enormous benefits to others.
  • They find it difficult to part with their own, share it, or pass up opportunities in favor of others.
  • They tend to hog the spotlight, especially in a group, and get impatient when they have to listen to others.
  • They try to take tangible advantage of all the situations in which they intervene.
  • They apply the law of least cost, that is, they always give the least of their time, effort or money when doing something, or they look for the way to do it in the most comfortable or convenient way for them.

types of selfishness

According to psychology, there are three different types of selfishness, which are:

  • Selfishness egocentric. The egocentric is one whose social world revolves around his ego, that is, who compares absolutely everything with his desires. These types of people tend to victimhood and lack of empathy, since in his order of priorities an excessive ego leaves little free space for others. In this sense, egocentric people use others for their own ends and are not usually very interested in the well-being of others, except when this affects their own.
  • neutral selfishness. Also called "conscious selfishness," this type of selfishness is one that puts one's own fundamental needs before the need to please others, but does so in a more rational and moderate way, often as part of a self-help or self-help method. improvement of the self esteem. Neutral egoism is fostered by “help yourself first” doctrines that establish the need to take care of oneself before taking care of others, otherwise it is impossible to genuinely help.
  • altruistic selfishness. With this oxymoron or union of contradictory terms, the behavior that pursues its own benefit is known, but in such a way that it is also beneficial for a third party. That is, an altruistic egoist always gives priority to his own affairs, but strives to carry them out in a way that is useful to others.

selfish love

It is commonly called "selfish love" to certain types of romantic or love relationships that subordinate the interests of one of the individuals with respect to those of the other, instead of being equal and giving both parties the same enjoyment or the same importance. That is, selfish love is an unhealthy love, whose attachment is useful or pleasant only for one of the parties, which can cause harm, sadness or dissatisfaction in the other.

Selfish love can receive many names: toxic love, toxic relationships, manipulative love, among others. Naturally, it is not a form of love that should be encouraged or desired.

Moral selfishness and rational selfishness

From the point of view of philosophy, there are two schools of thought around egoism, that is, two approaches that perceive it as an object of interest and that formulate different approaches around it. These tendencies are moral egoism (or ethical egoism) and rational egoism.

  • moral selfishness. Linked to the philosophical doctrines of subjectivism, moral egoism proposes that the only way to cope with one's own existence is in a selfish way, that is, that the social ethics of individuals must always act in their own interest, which does not prevent , by acting, an accidental or secondary benefit is also generated to other people.Thus, the moral egoist defends that everyone looks after their own benefit, but also that human groups (such as countries or organizations) do it, since our own needs are the only thing we really know, and by trying to satisfy those of others we can end up doing more harm than good.
  • Rational selfishness. Linked to the philosophical doctrines of objectivism, rational egoism proposes that the search for one's well-being must come from a rational, objective, logical evaluation that is far removed from the moral aspects that define, for example, moral egoism. From this point of view, altruism is a vice that satisfies others but never the individual himself, and therefore leads to malaise and collectivism, that is, to unfairly putting the wishes of the masses before those of the individual.

positive and negative selfishness

Another approach to distinguish between forms of selfishness is that which opposes a positive or healthy selfishness to a negative and unhealthy selfishness. The difference between one and the other lies in the degree of responsibility that one has before the collective or before the needs of the other. So, we have to:

  • Positive egoism is the one that allows individuals to seek their own benefit without incurring harm to others, and it is the one that is put into practice when we carry out actions that benefit or please us, at the same time that they benefit and they please a companion. Mutual benefit, seen this way, is only possible if both people exercise positive selfishness.
  • Negative selfishness is one that causes harm to third parties (or allows them to suffer indirect harm) to obtain personal benefit, and it is the most morally repudiated form of selfishness, since the individual who practices it is completely detached from the collective well-being or from others, thus focusing solely and exclusively on what you want or need.

Phrases about selfishness

Some famous phrases about selfishness are the following:

  • "The egoist loves himself without rivals." Cicero (106-43 BC), writer and politician of Ancient Rome.
  • “No one is ever secondary to himself.” Francois Rabelais (1494-1553), French writer.
  • "The selfish person would be capable of setting fire to the neighbor's house in order to fry an egg." Sir Francis Bacon (1561-1626), British philosopher and essayist.
  • "The man is the wolf of the man." Thomas Hobbes (1588-1679), British philosopher and political scientist.
  • "There is no true happiness in selfishness." George Sand (1804-1876), writer of French origin.
  • "The great egoists are the stock of the great wicked." Concepción Arenal (1820-1893), Spanish writer.
  • "An egoist is a person who thinks more of himself than of me." Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), American writer and editor.
  • "The only acceptable selfishness is to ensure that everyone is well in order to be better." Jacinto Benavente (1866-1954), Spanish playwright.
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