We explain what pride is and its positive or negative meaning. Also, how is a proud person and what is self-love.
What is pride?
When talking about pride we can refer to two very different feelings, one endowed with negative connotations and the other with positive connotations. This double possibility is due, to a large extent, to the meanings that this word has had over time.
The term pride came to Spanish through French orgueil and this one from franco urguoli, which can be translated as "distinguished" or "excellent", so that in its beginnings it was associated with what stands out above the rest. In that sense, it may be close to arrogance, a word that is often offered as synonymous from the negative sense of pride, or also satisfaction, linked to the positive sense.
Let's go by parts: pride can be defined as the desire to always stand out from others, that is, in a way of vanity or from ego inflated. A proud individual is one who looks at others over his shoulder, who thinks himself more and better than the rest, and who, therefore, commits one of the capital sins that the doctrine of Christianity punishes, and that the ancient Greeks they called hybris.
Thus, pride is associated with the negative sense of pride: persons Proud women are uncompromising in their superior behavior over others. That is to say, superb.
But at the same time, pride is a happy feeling that can be felt at a job well done, or at the success of a loved one. It is a form of satisfaction, of joy, which can even be disguised, so that, paradoxically, it can lead to modesty.
So, in short, the meaning we give to the term pride depends to a large extent on the context. If you tend to fall in love with yourself, to inflexibility of criteria and to think that you are above the rest, then it is pride or vanity. Whereas, if it is something more noble, close to satisfaction, it will instead be a form of self esteem.
How is a prideful person?
In general, when we consider a person as proud (and not simply having been proud of something or someone), we are referring to the negative sense of the term. Proud people, broadly speaking, can be described as follows:
- They watch over your reputation. The proud pay a lot of attention to what others think or say about them, but not necessarily because they value the opinion of others, but because they feel deserving of praise and admiration, and they do not bear criticism. This often hides the opposite coin: a hidden feeling of inferiority.
- It is hard for them to apologize. The idea of apologizing or admitting one's faults to a third party is difficult for proud people to accept, because they experience it as a failure or as a humiliation: how is it possible that they, so elevated and perfect, should apologize to anyone? who is so far below their level?
- They feel easily threatened. The achievements of others, the suggestions, the honest criticisms, are experienced by a proud person as attacks against his person, since they make him question whether he is really as superior an individual as he likes to think of himself.
- They like to have the last word. This follows from the love that the proud have for their reputations: they are mortified at the idea that they have "lost" an argument and that, therefore, their reputation for knowing everything or understanding everything is tarnished forever. At its core, this ends up being little more than stubbornness or foolishness.
- They have a hard time asking for help. How could a proud stoop to ask for help from someone who is far below himself? What if someone finds out and their reputation for being able to do it all on their own is ruined?
- They tend to vanity. This does not mean that they spend the entire day in front of the mirror, but rather that they tend to position themselves in relation to others in a position of real or feigned superiority. Constantly talking about past achievements, controlling the conversation to revolve around your own interests, not showing curiosity about others… these are usually forms of pride.
Self-love
Self-esteem or self-esteem is a borderline concept with pride. So much so that one and the other can often be confused. After all, pride may well be understood as an apparent excess of self-love.
When this is not the case, self-love is manifested through self-acceptance, that is, the ability to deal on good terms with who we are, without the need to enlarge or punish ourselves. Self-esteem should allow us to recognize our achievements and celebrate our strengths, as well as understand our weaknesses and take them on as challenges.
In this way, self-esteem gives us a sense of security and tranquility in front of others, in addition to facilitating the task of pointing towards what we want to be in life. On the other hand, it avoids the sufferings of those who do not value themselves or who feel that, unlike the proud, they have no value in themselves and constantly need others to fulfill the most basic goals of daily life.