• What is assertive communication?
• Assertive communication characteristics
• Assertive communication types
• Techniques to develop assertiveness
• Examples of assertive communication

We explain what assertive communication is and what its main characteristics are. Also, its classification, techniques and examples.

Assertive communication takes advantage of factors inherent to the communication process.

What is assertive communication?

We call assertive communication the forms of communication designed or designed to convey a message much more effectively, taking advantage of factors inherent to the communicative process and others who, although external to it, accompany it and influence its effectiveness.

Let us remember that communication is the process that transmits a message or information between a sender (creates the message) and one or more receivers (receives the message), through a physical medium (such as sound waves in the air) and using a specific code (such as the language). This process is inherent in living beings and reaches its highest level of complexity in humans, the only animal endowed with structured language.

However, communication can often face difficulties to be realized, such as deficiencies in the interlocutors, environmental noise and, many times, little assertiveness communicative on the part of the sender, that is, little capacity to promote an optimal communicative act.

Thus, assertive communication takes into consideration elements inherent to verbal communication such as the tone of voice, the rhythm speech, but also other aspects such as body language, to develop a certain communicative intelligence in the issuer that substantially improves their ability to convey the message.

Assertive communication characteristics

For communication to be assertive, a series of elements that characterize it and that have to do with psychological, emotional and pragmatic aspects of the communicative act must be taken into account. Thus, for example, assertive communication takes into account the following:

• Body posture. A positioning of the body when speaking that is open, frank, generates trust in the interlocutor, transmits interest Y sincerity. Looking at the other when speaking is key to this.
• The gestures. The gestures with which we accompany speech can work for (reinforcing or accompanying what is said) or against, transmitting the opposite of what we say or distracting the listener.
• The joint. The way of pronouncing the words, the cadence of the prayer and the tone of voice greatly affect communication. Interluded, whispered, or half-spoken words are difficult to understand, as much as a prayer unstoppable and fast as a locomotive, which exhausts the other and discourages him from listening to us.
• Reciprocity. Attention must be paid to how much time we invest in speaking and how much in listening, so as not to run the risk of monologue or of transmitting indifference to the other. Do we really listen by listening or do we just wait for our turn to say something again? Do we respect the silences or do we run over the other?
• Location. Where do you choose to have an important conversation? In a safe and quiet place, people tend to be more understanding than in another noisy and full of distractions, or worse, threats, such as on a street in the middle of a crowd.

Assertive communication types

Body posture is a clear example of non-verbal communication.

Broadly speaking, we can speak of three categories of assertiveness in communication, which are:

• Verbal. Verbal communication has to do with what is said, so the assertiveness in this case it goes through the choice of words, the construction of sentences and the linguistic aspect itself.
• Non verbal. Non-verbal communication has to do with the aspects that surround the language during the communicative act, which affect it but have nothing to do with its linguistic processes. Body posture, for example, or the place chosen to have a conversation.
• Paraverbal. Paraverbal communication is that intermediate between verbal and non-verbal, that is, it encompasses the elements that accompany the formulation of the message and that are part of the communicative fact, that is, how to say what is said. Tone of voice, articulation, rhythm, are examples of it.

Techniques to develop assertiveness

Some techniques to develop communicative assertiveness are:

• The broken record. It is about repeating, in the same tone and cadence, a message that was not ideally received, without fostering confrontations. "No, I don't need that product."
• The fog bank. The opposite is agreed in an argument, in a friendly but vague way, but without giving rise to new confrontations. "Maybe you are right".
• Assertive question. Instead of affirming a defect or making a reproach, the question is asked of what is missing or how the situation can be improved or the desired result obtained. "How do I help you finish the job?"
• Floating voltage. Every time the other says something that bothers us or with which we disagree, instead of fighting, we ignore that part of the message and attend to the rest.
• Speak from the self. It will always be better to state things from subjectivity, than to affirm them as absolute truths. Better is an "I disagree" than a "You are wrong."

Examples of assertive communication

Planning to propose is an example of assertive communication.

Two examples to illustrate assertive communication are:

• A client obfuscated claims a bank teller. The latter chooses how to say things so as not to frustrate the client any more, putting himself on his side all the time and listening to his claim with attention and seriousness, adding small accompanying phrases that let the client know that it is not his direct fault, but that he is there to help fix the issue.
• A man wants to propose marriage. You are not sure of the answer you are going to receive, so plan the place to do it, based on the tastes of your partner, and choose the best time for it, because if you do it to get out of trouble anywhere you may reject.